Ruminations on Public and Private Health Insurance in Germany part 1

I have spent the past month being ill and in the process I have had the chance to see how the public health insurance system in Germany works. That's not unusual, because the majority of Germans (87%+) are members of the public system, which is not, as is the NHS in Britain, free, but rather based on a percentage (up to 15.5%, half paid by employers) of income and capped at an income that may be increased (approx. 63k in 2009, much as the US' social security deductions cap out over 100k).

(The Wikipedia article on German Health Insurance is quite good. The Bundesministerium for Health publishes some articles in English as well as being thoroughly descriptive in German. Here's a good article from the American view on the system.)

What is unusual is having been on private insurance for the last 4 years and then moving into public and thus being able to directly compare them in this way. To be allowed to move into the private system in Germany, one needs to make a certain amount (50,850€ in 2012) and the move is one-way: like a roach motel, you can enter but then you can never leave. That is, you can reduce your income for over a year to below the threshold, but most people in the situation where they would want to change back— getting married, having children, getting old— couldn't afford the loss.

Also, after the age of 55, as far as I know there is no path back into public, so even losing one's job in a country where age discrimination is rampant could leave one facing an increasingly unaffordable insurance bill.

However, in our case, we have had American expat(private) insurance as my husband was seconded here and therefore we were allowed to have non-German insurance. When he moved to the German firm at the end of the year, we needed to make a decision as to what insurance we would move to. Complicating the issue, 1. he had never been previously insured in Germany, so could not return to his prior public (he left Germany while in school and covered under family insurance), 2. the law in Germany did not allow non-EU nationals from countries without public plans to enter into public if they would not be ordinarily eligible.

This was such a stressor that we considered moving to the Swiss firm or the British firm, either of which would have allowed us to enter immediately into the national health schemes. The difference in cost between private and public here in Germany, for our family with a non-working spouse and two children, was such as to make our remaining here unaffordable, as well as seriously disadvantaging the children. We got as far as discussing the advantages of moving when there was an anticipated revision of the law to allow workers the one-time opportunity to enter public if they had not previously been insured in Germany and it was determined that the German's previous private cover (by his parents' insurance) did not count.

Whew.

So, in my time here in Germany, as a private patient, I have had: unscheduled emergency surgery, standard things such as mammos and colonoscopies, emergency room visits for breathing issues, pneumonia, specialists, MRIs, dermatology visits and ordinary and specialised vaccinations. My kids and husband have had the standard, with a sprinkling of allergist, dermatologists, and so on.

Before we moved to public, we talked to all of our doctors and to our dentist (whom we adore- he is the best we have had in years). They all assured us that there is no difference in treatment between public and private patients, other than private versus public room certain other clearly defined differences: Germany sets a minimum required amount of coverage, all insurances adhere to it, and differentiation is in the extras that are given.

The minimum is quite generous: if I could have paid less by taking out acupuncture and other non-scientific remedies, I certainly would have. Germany invented the quack science of homeopathy and although there is pushback against the public insurances paying for it, many insurances do.

Next part- what we chose, why, and how the execution has gone.

Thoughts on the holiday spirit.

It's the end of 2011 and a week or so ago I received an e-mail in my role as an officer of multinational group. I have anonymized the letter, because I don't think anyone needs the identity of the writer or the group to look at the concepts and thoughts behind the writing.

(As a pertinent piece of information, the group is not just multinational and multi-ethnic, the German membership has a hard 20% cap to retain the "multi kulti" aspect—otherwise, in groups of this nature, the standard progression is that foreigners move away, Germans do not, and clubs become increasingly German.-At the moment, we have a several year waiting list of Germans.)

Dear Ladies

After due consideration and having read the following email, I decided to share my thoughts on this matter.

I am a member of X for approximately 18 years and have seen a lot of changes, mostly positive. However, every year when I receive the X newsletters, I find it disturbing, when I read the "Festive Season Dinner" or "December Festive Season Event" instead of "Christmas Dinner/Event". My question is - What are we celebrating? 'Why has the word Christmas been dismissed over the years? I am told it is politically correct to do so. Who are we insulting? Who are we trying to placate? Who feels threatened? I have served on X for a number of years and during my terms as X, my colleagues and I reverted to using the word Christmas, which we felt was correct and proper. I have the greatest respect for other holidays e.g. Hanukkha, Ramadan, Diwali and so on, and wish my friends all the best for the specific holiday and not the general in-term Happy Festive Season as I join them in celebrating. .Likewise, as a Christian, I would like the same respect. I would also like to remind everyone, that although we come from all parts of the world, we are based in Germany.

I wish you all a Happy Christmas and a healthy, successful and exciting 2012.

X

This was my response:

Hi X-
You sent this to me, not to "separate collective e-mail". So let me answer. I'm not Christian. I don't celebrate Christmas. Neither do many members of X. Therefore we have a holiday party.

If you would like to have a club that is open to only Christians or which has a religious basis and underpinning, you are welcome to found one. I don't see any pertinence to the article you included, by the way [a ridiculous "war against Christmas article"]. I also don't have a (pagan) tree in my home and find it strange that Christians have stolen the trappings of the Druidic rituals and slapped a Christian term on it.

Happy holidays,

X

I thought about this before writing my response, before ending it and before starting to write it up in this blog post. The German spouse was more incensed than I, and suggested that I should have stated that in an effort to be more inclusive in future I should have mentioned that we will be using sharia law to adjudicate organizational disputes and signed off with a cheery Merry Kwanzaa.

I could ask, who does this person think she is? But I know who she thinks she is. She thinks she has the right to make me, and others who do not belong to her narrow culture, strangers in our land. To make us invisible and to be offended when we refuse to walk behind her, to step to the side, to be at the back of the bus, and most importantly: to be quiet. The sheer hypocrisy of stating that she allow each person to celebrate their occasion and wants the "right" to celebrate her own (by which she means to force the acknowledgement, supremacy and celebration of her religious beliefs and holidays on others) and then ending her mail by wishing me- a Jew- a merry Christmas, just demonstrates her falseness.

All animals are equal. But some are more equal than others.

Art

I am amazed and grateful to be living in a society that believes that art and an appreciation of it are a human right and one that Society (with a capital S) should extend to children.

Thing1 had been taking quite good art classes in the Friedrichstrasse area (not too bad by S-bahn), but those classes were preceded by a ceramics class which apparently had some sort of glaze or clay ingredient to which she was allergic: although she enjoyed it, she was displaying contact dermatitis quite severely (an issue she has had all her life). In addition, T2 wasn't allowed to participate (too young) and the classes ended late, so T1 could only go when the German was in town and able to take her.

Toward the end of last school year, T1 said that she wasn't learning any more and she wanted a different class. So I did a huge amount of looking around (and a good art class for young children is actually quite difficult to find) and discovered that my kiez (neighborhood) sponsors art and culture for children through the VHS system. Of course, my neighorhood is larger than all but 19 cities in Germany (there are 19 cities in the country with more than 300,000 inhabitants) so it's not surprising that there are some amenities.

What's amazing is that as we bail the southern countries out of the hole that they spent themselves into (through graft, corruption, black market dealings at all levels of society and outright cooking of the books), Germany still finds it important that being rich or poor should not alter children's access to cultural enrichment: the latest welfare (Hartz IV) reform laws included funds to allow even the poorest access to music and art lessons and appreciation, as well as to forests and farms.

The new class teacher allowed T2 to join in, even though she is 6 months younger than the limit (as otherwise she would be sitting outside with me through the 2 hour class) and she is having a blast: the first time they went, I was in a class myself, and the German didn't bring any mahlkittles. That was swiftly corrected (through the loss of that dress) and the second class had them both wearing art smocks. They were out of the large smocks and we thought T1 could just wear an apron... wrong. Her new style is in the footsteps of Jackson Pollack and the speckles went everywhere: she will have a long-sleeved full size smock this week.

The best part is that the class is in our neighborhood, only a short U ride away, that there is a great cafe across the street (and a Thai place a few doors down) and that now the kids can attend together, giving me a 2 hour block when I can read or have a coffee rather than running around, stressing out because someone will need to miss something. The down side is that when we shuffled the swim classes to free Friday for both of them, they came up consecutive. But consecutive is still far better than on separate days, as they were last school year!

So now we are settled in to our schedule and until T1 earns her music lessons back (through doing her homework cheerfully), it means that we have two days home by 4 pm (when she has nachhilfe) and 1 by 5 pm (after tennis): a huge improvement on last year!

Recycling

One of the things I like most about Germany is the recycling. This may seem a little odd, but because I live in a developed country and consume my share of resources and create my share of junk, I feel pretty guilty. I am watching the end of the world as I know it, seeing the ice caps melt and the glaciers disappear, fish are being wiped out in the wild (and I still eat tuna) and the climate is whipsawing from one extreme to the other.
The least I can do is to not use air conditioning (I have a ceiling and standing fans, when necessary), hang my clothes to dry (although not sheets and towels) and recycle. This is what I have accumulated since Tuesday.

The first picture is paper, magazines and a shirt: the magazines will go to friends interested in catching up on US news, the shirt in orange recycling and the paper in paper. The next photo is 4 days worth of Grüne Punkt. That is plastics and metals and foil and certain packaging (like juice and cartons).
Below you see 5 days worth of ordinary paper recycling. Not pictured are the bowl of organic (bio) waste and the glass containers that will go, respectively, in Bio and Glass recycling containers.
It's not rocket science, so I wonder why so many people don't participate in recycling?
.

The Tooth Fairy

I just watched The Tooth Fairy with Dwayne Johnson and it was absolutely hysterical. With several uncredited riffs by Billy Crystal, whom I adore, as well as Julie Andrews as the Fairy Godmother. Not to be missed and my girls will be able to watch it this week (the German and I were pre-viewing), unlike Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief (pre-viewed earlier in the week).

The former had a great story and one that I want my children to learn: that hard work and practice and good will can help one to succeed. The latter was (beside being far too violent for my girls) all about how one's success is solely determined by who one's father (or, secondarily) parent or relative is. Not the ideology I want my children to take in.

One could look at this in the context of the Royal Wedding, or the American ur-story versus the European, but I'll leave it at the simple: one is appropriate for my children at this stage and the other will not be, even with explanation, for many years.

Now, this made me laugh.

It was a busy day today, but let's put that aside.

I came home from swimming lessons with T2 at about 18:00, always a difficult time to find parking. We were still in our swim shoes and her hair was sopping wet. There was only 1 open spot close to our apartment, but there was an auto parked across two spots preventing its use. I pulled up next to the spot, because the car was running and there was someone reading, but that person didn't move, although he saw me.

So I went down the block, we put our regular shoes on, and I walked back to our building. After crossing the street and passing the running car, I thought. Then, holding my wet 4 year old's hand, I knocked on the window. He looked up, ignored me, looked down. I knocked again. He rolled his window down. I begged his pardon and asked if he knew that he was blocking two spots (and yes, I was speaking German). He responded in his native German, that he was perfectly aware. I pointed out that it was impolite for him to do so (unhöflich) and he agreed and said he didn't care and rolled his window up. As he was doing so, I thanked him for displaying such perfectly German behaviors.

That's not what made me laugh. What made me laugh was that after I went home, I was still so annoyed at this flaming a****l**h that I grabbed my NikonD50 and went down to take a picture of his car. If he had asked, my response was going to be that I wanted his picture on my wall, so when I wanted to know what a perfect a****l***h looked like, I could look at him. Or I would look for a website that posted pictures of such, like we have for pervs in NYC.

However, for some reason, he was so frightened of my camera that as he saw me approaching he ran away. I'm not certain why, because being an a* is definitely not illegal in Germany (there are many perfectly open and self satisfied such here), but perhaps he felt that parking in a spot marked Artz was (it's not).
Here you see him fleeing.

I chuckled for the next hour.

When I discussed this with the German when he got home from München, he asked me why I felt this was such German behavior, rather than just that of any old a**. Because he stated it right out, I said. In NY, the answer would have been (even if not true): "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice. Have a great day."
After he thought for a second, he agreed: it was indeed a particularly German interaction. Here the rudeness is straight out and direct, as a German would say.

Raising "multi-cultural" children

Over at American Expat in Deutschland, Christina raised some thought provoking questions about what it means to raise one's children as an expat, or in a multi-cultural environment:

If you were raised in a multicultural environment:

1. Describe, briefly, your upbringing.-- When I grew up, there was no such thing as a "multi-cultural environment". What there was, was life. My dad was a Shoah survivor, my mom was the child of refugees from the Russian empire and its pogroms. I was raised as an American, but always knowing that America was a melting pot.
   
2. What do you think your parents did well?--- They created a life out of nothing, they showed me how it is possible to be rootless and to succeed, they gave me a solid foundation of love to use as a ground. The ensured that my siblings and I knew, to our very deepest souls, that we were American and that we were Jewish and that there were no contradictions at all between those two. My father, especially, coming from a world where there was no equity or justice, raised us to believe in a morality and equity that he was not raised with.
   
3. What do you think your parents could have done better?--- I regret every day that I grew up with parents who spoke, between them, 9 languages, yet I only learned English. I think they should have made more of an effort to ensure that I spoke at least yiddish, if not Hebrew or Russian or Czech, or any of the languages that would have allowed me to feel more deeply rooted in a past that had already been destroyed by external forces, and to connect to the still remaining far flung pieces of my family. But they lived in a time when this was not considered appropriate for Americans, especially when Eastern European languages were considered to be "lower class", and they did what they thought was best for their children.
4. What would you do differently given the same situation?--- How can I say what I would have done? Living at that time and from their backgrounds, I hope that I would have attempted to build a stronger social network, to root myself in neighborhood more. But here I am, in a foreign country where I am not a native speaker, and my roots are only in the topsoil. I am ensuring that my children are fluent in the language of both their parents, we have moved to ensure that they form a strong bond with a large part of their family, and they are solidly implanted in a school that will nurture their identity and allow them to feel more strongly their heritage.
   

If you are raising your children in a multicultural environment:

1. What parts of your culture do you most want passed on to your children, or are you happy raising them only in the dominant culture?---I think that I am not necessarily the average expat parent at whom these questions are aimed, because as a Jewish American I am an alien in every culture, including my home culture. Although we made a point of putting the children in a German school, they are in a German Jewish school, so they will never sing along with the "Drei Königen" songs, and probably not have any memories of St. Martin's Day Lanterns, Öster Häse, St. Nikolaus, or other German traditions that are Christian-based. The decision we made to not put them in the German-American school but rather in the German-Jewish was a difficult one and we will need to ensure that the kids have more exposure to America and the American way of thought as they grow older because we made that decision. We would not have raised them in "the dominant culture" in the US either, although as the American culture is not religiously based, they would have absorbed it in every interaction and experience.
   
2. What are you doing differently than parents in the dominant culture?--- I don't live within the dominant culture, so I'm not certain what those parents do. I see so many different ways to "handle" children, just by those Germans that I know. I'm comfortable saying that I seem to listen to my children more, allow them to make decisions on what I consider minor issues but which they consider important more, and am less didactic. But that could simply be a function of who my kids are and who I am. I do know that my children appear to be more open and friendly than German children in the "dominant culture", but that is also probably a function of our frequent moves and modeling: I'm pretty free and easy at chatting with strangers, compared to the general German.
   

It was interesting to think about these questions and it will be interesting to see if my thinking changes in the future. Thanks, Christina.

The Holiday whirl: I'm getting dizzy— Orienteeringskurse

I had wanted to take my Orienteeringskurse last month, before taking the B1 exam (so I would have a chance to speak some German after my class ended), but the course was booked out so I wound up having to take it this month from the 8th through the 16th.
The timing made life a little chaotic, with all the other things happening this month and with T1 getting sick during the course. In addition, because the teacher had an issue with the class extending to the 17th, as it was scheduled, we needed to add time to each of our other classes to reach the required 45 hours. I found it amazing that a German class was actually scheduled to run (normally) on a Saturday. Of course, it wasn't the unimaginable Sunday!
So, my feelings after taking this course: I found it interesting and of course, since I already have my permanent residency, I took this voluntarily. There was another woman (from Finland) who took the course simply to learn more about the country in which she is living, but everyone else there was there due to a requirement by either the BaMF or the Jobs Agency. There were 16 people in my course and the over half were native Turks. In one case, although B1 proficiency is required for the course,the gentleman spent the time sitting in the back and when spoken to or speaking, had translation done by the women sitting next to him. One woman said that she didn't "want" to take the test (a 25 question test at the end of the course) and asked what would happen if she did not: the teacher said that would be between her and the BaMF but the individual asked that question repeatedly and also showed up late or left early every day.
I actually knew two of the women from my past language courses and I enjoyed the opportunity to communicate in German in a way that did not focus solely on learning language. I particularly enjoyed learning about the set up of the political system and the Constitution. Of course, the basics were familiar and comfortable to me as the German Verfassung is based upon the American Constitution. I think there are even some improvements, as the men who wrote it had some 160 years to actually work out the kinks before rewriting it. Learning about the Verfassung and understanding rights would clearly be more difficult for those from cultures without such constitutional (written or unwritten) rights. But the Bundesamt and Landesamt concepts, as well as the deeper understanding of the Parliamentary system, was very interesting and worthwhile.
Some other thoughts: As seems to be usual in German classes, we started with statements of prejudices (in this case what we Auslanders thought of Germans, while the teacher supplied the other side). I always think this is such a negative concept, although it's amusing to actually hear a German rationalize why 16 people from 10 different countries feel that Germans are cold, unfriendly to children and dedicated to rules rather than results. She asked how many of us have German friends (vanishingly few) and told us that she herself, although she has many foreign friends in other countries, has none here. She said that it was "too much trouble" to go from teaching German as a foreign language, or any of the four other languages she teaches, to need to
watch her language in private speech. This from a woman who, quite amazingly, manged to teach this course at exactly a B1 level throughout the 8 days— there was not a word or a sentence that I did not understand. If it's too much for her to "speak down" to foreigners, I certainly understand why so few native Germans have the bock.
The course was clearly aimed at teaching people from non-Western cultures what the Grundgesetz or basic (inalienable) rights are in Germany and to require them to look at some German history to understand Germany's place in the world and as such, I am glad that it exists. I think it was too short and too easy, though. All of the possible questions for the test are published (250), from which 25 are chosen for the actual exam. I read through the questions (and answers) the day before, with an eye to being certain that I understood all the German and when I took the exam (with an allotted 60 minute duration), I finished in 3 minutes. The majority of that time was spent understanding the crazy manner of crossing out or circling required to overwrite an error. To fail this exam would be to make a deliberate act of will and if I were German, I would not consider such a course nor passing such an exam sufficient education to allow a person to integrate within German society.

Holiday whirl: Deutsches Historisches Museum

It was a hectic day today as I had an Orienteeringskurs Ausflug (field trip) today, to the Deutsches Historisches Museum, while at the same time the German had a minor operation and then later in the evening we had tickets to a musical: that's what happens when one tries to get everything done in December and mandatory items pile up. After making the kids breakfast, I said good-bye (we had a babysitter booked for 11, giving the German 40 minutes to get to the doctor).
My class met up at the U-Bahn station at 9:30, walked over to the museum (we were 15 minutes too early) and then were able to leave our coats and bags in a group lock up, which was nice. We had a guided tour through a bit of the early history into the current period (I am again impressed at the wonderful quality of all museum guides that I have been in contact with in Germany- they are amazingly good at their jobs). The detail you see at the left (it's a tiny detail) shows what in English would be called a "scold's bridle", showing how inhumanely women in the west were once treated.
We were then were given workbooks and sent forth to do research on the N*DP (N*zis and the period from 1933-1948).
It's good to know that individuals who are seeking to either become permanent residents of Germany or to become citizens will be required to have at least a cursory understanding of the role of Germany in WWII: this course is generally a stop on the way to both (although I have my permanent residency already and am simply taking the course to expand my knowledge of Germany). I don't think it's enough (the government is discussing increasing the course to 60 hours), but I still have more than 30 hours left of the 45 hour curriculum, so I will be interested to see what the remaining portion teaches us.
The museum is beautifully laid out and I expect that we will return to it as a family to take a tour of the medieval portion (they have one for children concentrating on knights and castles). The section on the Holocaust is well-done and tastefully done, although, really, I don't enjoy this and if I had known what the concentration would be I probably would have excused myself— I don't feel that I need further education on the subject.
The most interesting interaction of the experience was when we stopped in front of a painting from the late 30's. It showed a triumphal Arc in Munich (based on the Arc d'Triumph, apparently). On the left were N*zi youth collecting money from passers by. In the center, walking in the direction of the Arch was a tall, erect man, on crutches and missing his right leg from the knee down. He is striding and wearing a military overcoat. His head is proudly held high. On the right, by the arch, is a woman in widow's weeds, pushing a white pram.
The guide asked the group whether we felt that this painting was in favor of the war or against it. I immediately replied, in favor. Every other person replied, against. The guide asked me whether I wanted to change my reply and I said no: I thought it was clear that every person in that picture was proud of themselves and their country.
When he asked the other students, they said how sad the picture was. I pointed out that they probably would not have felt the picture was sad if N*zi Germany had won the war.
Then the guide explained that I was correct- that the picture had been used as propaganda in the "Total War" drive and the direction ran, from left to right, of how one should give to the Fatherland: least is money, next would be limbs and the final and highest sacrifice, one's life (or one's husband's, since this was aimed at the domestic market).
I find it a little bit frightening that a group of 15 people could read something so obviously incorrectly.

Ever wondered why

certain areas of Berlin are overwhelmingly Turkish and poor? I didn't know that "temporary workers had been required to settle only in certain areas.

Immigration
Another wall has risen

Over 20 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall, an invisible partition still divides the city, observes La Stampa: "South of the Bernauer Strasse begins the Mitte district with its health food shops and bobo cafés. To the north are Wedding and Brunnenviertel with their record unemployment levels and council housing inhabited by Turkish and Arab families.” So despite all the outraged reactions to Thilo Sarrazin’s incendiary remarks, the myth of multiculti Berlin is crumbling, revealing a reality of failed integration and ghettoisation. The authorities, who had hoped the “guest workers” would not remain for a long time in Germany, only allowed them to settle in certain neighbourhoods, such as Kreuzberg and Neukölln. "The result is that nowadays there are several areas where you can go shopping or go to the doctor’s without speaking a word of German.”

Well Used

Here in Germany, the coins are worth a lot, there are many of them, and there are no coin rolls. Even if one overcomes that issue, standard banks won't take coins (they had one a plastic bag and the address of a central bank in another kiez and suggest one run along). So change purses get a good work out.

This one has reached the point where I am embarrassed to pull it out of my purse, so it goes to the garbage and I visit Claires for another 3€ special. (Yes, in the US that would be Claire's: welcome to Deutschland.)

American customer service, as accessed abroad. aka Kenneth Cole is great.

I spent the weekend celebrating a birthday by going to DiscWorldCon for a weekend away with my husband. It's a celebration of Pterry Pratchett and his world and I may talk about it later.

But I started with a lovely conversation with Kenneth Cole customer service. As I have been decluttering, one of the first targets is damaged or broken items. This suitcase had a broken wheel. We had thought about taking it back with us to the US this summer to have it repaired, but the thought of dragging it along without a wheel, while traveling en famille, was insupportable (ah, Steampunk, it's catching).

So, I called their customer service. Who gave me the number for their warranty service for luggage (as opposed to The Luggage). When I called the number, a got a voice-mail telling me for a faster response I could use e-mail, as the person in charge would not be available.
I sent an e-mail and got back an out of office reply. I also said that I did not have a receipt and could only make a guess as to the store I got it in (although I knew the approximate time period).
Within 5 minutes the person whose e-mail it was got back in touch with me and asked for a specific piece of information that was attached to the suitcase.

I sent that and reminded her that (as per my address), I was out of country and wouldn't want to return the suitcase for warranty work until next back in the US: I was calling only to see what I would need to do and whether there was a possibilty of having it repaired in Europe rather than in the midwest.

She waived the requirement and said that she would get a replacement suitcase right out. Wow.

That is just amazing. I had thought the cost of shipping and repair would be too great and that I would just discard the suitcase and feel bad.

Instead I had several great experiences with people who knew exactly how to direct me and were generally chatty and friendly while looking up information that I required, someone who helped me out while not even at work, and who actually took my personal circumstances into consideration.

It was great and in celebration, while on the way to shop so that my (unbelievably great) in-laws could have food for the weekend, I stopped off at the recycling Hof and T2 and I recycled it:).

Out of chaos, order.

When I am stressed, I love to roll coins. Yes, I know something could be read into that: the ability completely and discretely finish a task and result in a final and visible product is soothing. It's actually something I remember doing with my mother when I was small. She had a bank that one pulled a lever on and made "ching" and was only open-able at some vast sum. So it was a great treat to be able to open it up and to roll the coins and then perhaps go to visit the bank and deposit the rolls. To stand in line and hear my mother chat with the cashiers and perhaps bump into neighbors. That time still exists in parts of upstate NY and I revisited it this month.

One of the maddening things about Germany (to me) has been my inability to roll coins and then to get rid of them. My local bank branch offers me a large plastic pouch and tells me that I would need to drop the bag off at a different location. This has been annoying me and filling up honey jars with coins because I just can't get rid of the smaller ones, even carrying around a very heavy change purse. So I brought a bunch of change rolls back from the US and the coins above in the lower row are 5¢, 2¢ and 1¢.

The upper row is American change, garnered from different corners and bags: that's amusing because I actually rolled over $60 of coins while in the US, while downsizing some storage boxes. I visited my local bank branch, the one where I have had a checking account since starting to bank my birthday and babysitting money, multiple times to both deposit coin rolls and deal with the fact that my not-used-in-Europe ATM card had been purged from the system.

I'll put the rolls aside and the US money will go back with me the next time and the Euro cents will accumulate until I have time next week to take them into a branch that will actually take change. Next week is my last before my German course starts again, so maybe I'll actually even find a bike-able branch.

Priceless...

Getting the pantry up and filled... great.

Unpacking 132 of 140 boxes.... great.

Cleaning out the old apartment.... great.

Having the landlord from the apartment we really loved, who turned us down "because you have children" call to ask if we would like the apartment.... priceless.

We've moved.

(Hmm. I'm going to try writing on our little Eee PC netbook, so that I can watch TV on my Mac at the same time. Our move finished Friday night, but the telephone/internet was only hooked up today (5 days later) and we weren't able to get the computer/TV interface hooked up before the German went back to Munich. I'm still not certain how we are going to set the intricate layout up, since the relatively frequent crashes require handy side sofa access, but that's not an easy commodity in our current set-up.)

The move was... exhausting.I am tremendously grateful that we went with one of the two companies with the ground-to-balcony lift rather than one of the two estimates from companies operating solely with back-power. Even though it cost twice as much, theoretically, I think the move would have taken two days without the lift, rather than one, and therefore the price would have been the same but with a tremendous amount of damage to our possessions and with our new neighbors hating us passionately for making their lives heck for two days. Although our old building was relatively modern, with a large elevator (requiring only that the furniture on our second level becarried downstairs to elevator access), our new building is a real Altbau, with a flight of stairs up to an elevator that can fit our family (two adults, two small children) only when we are feeling affectionate. Even if one would have wished to use the elevator for moving, it couldn't be done: it's terribly slow, very small, and the button for use can't be pressed until the door closes, so a person would ahve to ride with the (small) boxes. In addition, the stairway is winding enough and we are high enough (third floor European, 4th floor American) that it would be physically impossible for teams to pass each other. Long story short: we made the right decision.

I was sorry I missed the car being towed (driver felt those big signs forbidding parking between them was optional, I guess) while driving the kids to school. Amusingly, others on the street were moving the next day and while we were over there cleaning up on Saturday, another car was being towed. While here, when the truck arrived to unload, the driver blocking the way was alert enough to move before the tow truck arrived. In each of these three observed cases a policeman was there the entire time. I thought it was as 1. a defense against charges of damage to the twoed vehicle, 2. because these are public streets, not private property, and 3. in case the owner became violent. The German thought they should have been able to use the Ordungsamt instead, but I think the prior reasons are why they could not.

It's also clear why people just don't move that often: the expense is too great. Another Berlin blogger mentioned that she sees other friends moving annually in Berlin: I assume that they must either have their moves paid for by work or that they own no possessions. We used to move all the time in the US, both as singles and as a couple with no kids.We moved ourselves, with the help of U-Haul and an occasional friend. That's just not possible anymore, for us,without elevators. Moving a couch, dining room table, bookcases and desks, beds and wardrobes: this is not something anyone would do on an annual basis. That's not even thinking of moving a kitchen, as most real Germans do. We did move our refrigerator (purchased to be delivered here in time to be brought up by lift), our freezer, our washing machine and dryer. As well as lots of boxes of books and children's toys and some boxes of clothes.

We had gotten an estimate on painting and putting in a floor in the bedroom (although we were very lucky in that most of the apartment is floored and that there is a kitchen, the apartment desperately needed painting and there was no floor in one bedroom) but although I had gotten it from the husband of a friend, the estimate was so high that we didn't even bother to go back to him to discuss it: perhaps that's the American in us, but I think it's just an insult to be so far away from reality. We decided that we would have Bauhaus do the floor (as that's where we would have gotten the laminate anyway) and the total was significantly less than X's estimate for doing so.

So, in addition to professional movers (if one owns furniture, heavy stuff), there's :

• the provision of 2.38 months (or provisionfrei, if lucky),
  
• renovations on the old apartment and perhaps the new,
  
• the three months standard new security,
  
• the legal right of the prior landlord to keep their three month's security for up to 1 year (and hope one doesn't need legal insurance to actually get it back),
  
• the cost of moving phone/cable (because contracts aren't breakable due to moves and they charge you for flipping that switch),
  
• the cost of forwarding mail and packages (not free in Germany)
• the overlap in apartments (hard to get out of, since landlords often won't show until the apartment is empty)
• moving the old kitchen (if it will fit in the new apartment) or changing it to fit
• moving all lights

I can't imagine being able to afford to move, as a family, frequently.

We also picked out colors (yeah, colors!) and bought our paintand then googled around and looked for the equivalent of Campus Paint pros. We found them, but we also found a handyman who did painting and minor electrical and handywork (such as curtains, etc) for an hourly wage. We hired a babysitter and then I taped the kids' room and painted the lower third): I'm painting it as a Finding Nemo room, like I last did in NY, and the bottom third is Ocean Blue, while the upper 2/3 is sky blue. When I get the energy after unpacking everything, I need to use a template and paint a wave on top of the ocean, then add Nemo stickers and artwork, with a large dark blue bathmat for the floor.

After I went home, the German and A. spent the next two days painting the place and it looks amazing.

The living room and office (connected as a Berliner room) are celadon. The hall and bathroom are white, the kids' room as above, and our room is lilac. We have gorgeous plaster details on the ceiling in the office and our bedroom (all the ceilings, trim and above what I think is the picture hanging line, is white) and we haven't figured out yet what to do for lights, so we are using our torchieres. The kitchen still isn't finished- we will do it on Friday, but we ran out of paint last week (the coverage was strangely short, even after a primer coat)- but it will be a medium-light chocolate. That's a real departure for me, because I'm not an earth tone person. But the floor and the cabinets are Buche and the wall tiles are institutional (puke) green (as was the previous paint job) and according to the theory, those "colors" go with brown. It's true: they do. It even makes the Buche less hideous.

I'm interested to see how immediately happy I (and the kids) am here: Oma and Opa were surprised that the children were glad to be in their new room. They aren't used to children being able to take change in stride. I think a large part of it is finally getting some color on the wall. This has been the longest time I have ever lived without painting my walls: even in university, moving every year, I always painted. In all, since leaving my parents' home, I have lived in 16 different houses/apartments and only in the last two years in Germany have I not painted the walls within a month. Even without curtains it feels homey.

Life with a weekend spouse, casual injury and tipping in Germany.

It's been 5 weeks since the German started commuting to München. The commute is supposed to run fro early Monday (leaving before 5 am) until lateish on Thursday (sometimes after 22:00) but a few times it has run into Friday.

Last night was one of those and when he got in, very late, we thought twice about joining some other expat bloggers for a mini-meet-up in Hannover (about a 2.5 hour ride from here). When I heard early in the day that he would be late, I had already called and cancelled the hotel room, as 18:00 was the deadline and I knew he wouldn't be back until much later. We decided to sleep on it, set an alarm, and decide whether it made sense to leave at 7 am.

We did in fact get up at 6:30 (Thing1 gave us no choice), but the German begged to be allowed to sleep and I did accede to his request (and you can bet that I will be sleeping in tomorrow, at least as much as possible). We gave our friend Alice in NRW a call to break the news, only to find out that she and her son had strep and that they had cancelled as well. When I called Christina to apologize at 10, when we were to meet, I discovered that two other couples had cancelled and I felt just awful about it.

But the commuter marriage is really dragging me down. It's all the little things. I am tremendously grateful that the girls are in kita, so I can run errands, get some groceries, go to the doctor, go the the car shop, deal with some stuff. But on the other hand, I always need to get up early and I always need to get them in to bed alone (hard with Thing2, who still naps and thinks that since it's still light at 22:00, she can wander out of bed and say she needs the toilet. Sometimes 4 times within the hour).

And the girls miss him, especially Thing2, who sometimes has meltdowns about his morning absences. I have no help tidying up after them, or amusing them, or with any of the things that he is alwys so very helpful with. I am much more tired than I would have thought and sometimes need to remember that I was extremely ill not so long ago. This week's 5th day just kicked my tush.

So instead of meeting fellow American's, Canadian and USian for the 4th, we went to a biergarten in Dahlem to have a Turkey salad, baby potatoes, pommes and an ice (with the girls playing between eating).

Interesting note: here was the second time in 8 days that a waiter in Berlin has cheated us.
The first time was last week. Alice (who was in Berlin with husband and kids for 2 days) had lunch with me at a place around the corner that we frequently go to, often with the kids, so we know it is family friendly and have enjoyed it. The baby had a fuss and we decided to eat at her apartment so the children could go down. They went ahead and I remained to pay the bill, which I did, with a nice tip. I was in a hurry because as folks know, getting something wrapped to go here in Germany is not a fast activity.

As I walked to Alice's place, I started thinking about the amount of the bill and not being happy. I had taken the receipt and when I started reading it (while crossing streets and walking) I became quite angry when I realized that we had been billed incorrectly in three items, resulting in an overcharge of 4€ (more than 12%). I tipped more than 4€ and it was quite clear to me that the waitress had billed herself a good tip, expecting me not to tip. 4€ was not enough to make me go back and yell at the waitress, but it was enough to make me angry and resentful. I will remember that waitress and now I understand the expression on her face at my answer to her question as to where I was from, when I answered: A few blocks away, I eat here regularly.

Today, at the Biergarten in Dahlem, the German paid the bill while I was rounding the kids up and getting their socks and shoes on. When he got back, I asked him what the bill had been and when he told me the answer I said that the bill was incorrect and asked to see it. Another waiter had attempted to give us a Bolognese, so I assumed they had added that to the bill incorrectly.
I asked to see our copy of the bill and when the German told me that the waiter had simply told him the amount, I knew that the overbilling had been deliberate: our order was taken on a handheld device that itself prints out the rechnung. When the German discussed the bill with the waiter, a "mistake" of 3.5€ was "discovered. Since, once again, he had tipped 4€, it was again clear that the waiter had chosen to "tip" himself about 15%. The German was aghast. Since he did all the ordering and this was in a neighborhood local, I can't even blame this on the desire to rip off tourists: it's just a clear trend.
I think that we are going to become more German in our ways. I will know read my bill very closely, no matter how crowded or tired I am, and my new plateau will be the German no-tip, with only extraordinary friendliness and/or helpfulness making me tip above the round-up. I'm just tired of the crap. This never happened to me in the US, although I know it does. And two times in one week!

Moving onward to the injury:

We then went to T1's lieblingsplace: the marienkafer spielplatz otherwise known as Ikea(because the Smaland inside uses the ladybug as their logo). In the parkinglot T2 ran under my feet and I went down hard: so hard, that passersby stopped to ask if they could call for help (perhaps it was my scream, followed by whimpering and ankle clutching?). I didn't really notice as I was busy pressing very hard against the ligaments on both sides of my right ankle- the one without the very painful heel spur- and praying that it wasn't broken. It wasn't, but omigosh it is sprained. After I was through whimpering we limped our way in and signed the girls in for their hour of joy and we went upstairs to split a soda and chat.

Afterward, off to our evening's entertainment of shopping at the suburban (yet still in the huge city that Berlin is) mecca of Kaufland. One hour+ later, with a shopping cart piled above and below, the cost was about that of my little wheelie bin from Lidl in the center of the city. It's a beautiful thing to have a car when shopping and now I am stocked up on boxed tomatoes, pasta and such like. We didn't go to Selgros because I also wanted to stock up on milk and H-milk and they don't have Bio full milk or H-milk.

Then home and so tired that after we put the children to bed I forgot to set the DVR to record the celebrations in NYC. :(. This year was especially exciting because it's the 400th anniversary of Henry Hudson's exploration of the river, so I am disappointed.

But then to bed, with a compress on my foot and a few tablets of ibuprophen.

Odds and Ends

• If anyone is curious and has noticed my header, that's a field of hyacinths in Lisse, The Netherlands, that we stopped and wallowed in while visiting the Keukenhof. I love the smell of hyacinths and that's my favorite color. If we had moved in other directions, we had a rainbow of beautiful colors to choose from.
  
• The previous post was a "premature" one (posted accidentally), but since there were comments (some e-mailed, one deleted), I'll leave it alone. I had many other links to add and I will post next week: I reach a point where I need to remove them even though it makes my skin crawl to deal with them.
• The pneumonia is improving, after a week of the new antibiotic and the codeine drops. I still have bouts of coughing, but with the inhaler I am getting by. I am now having uncontrollable phlegm production and I hope my nose survives the tissue here (or, more accurately, the three rolls of tp I have gone through so far).
• The girls started ballet and they are so adorable, and love it so much, I feel guilty that they didn't start earlier. Thing1 will be part of a production in a few weeks and I think it will be lots of fun.
  
• Thing1's roller blades arrived today and she is amazing! She can already fall properly (protection in her size was easier to find) and kneel on her pads as she wishes. We had to mail order them because the 4 places we checked (including two stores in France) did not have blades in her size available. The girls went out with the German, T1 on her blades and T2 on her laufrad and they are both doing incredibly well. I foresee the time when both girls are rollerblading with the German while I remain behind lamenting my total lack of coordination.
• On day 2, Thing1 can already rollerskate backward as well as forward: I think she is an athletic prodigy. She came home from kita, put all her protection and skates on and started to skate around the house. When the German got back from Munich he took the girls out and he also thinks that Thing2 may be ready to move from the laufrad to the smallest regular bicycle (German, just a smidge bigger than the laufrad, smaller than the American bike T1 has moved on to). Wow. This is overwhelming.
• On the health front, the pneumonia is better, but still there, according to the doctor. He has given me another week of the new antibiotics, told me to use the inhaler both regularly and more aggressively, and upped the number of codeine drops I should be taking each night.                                                                                                                                    The nurse told me today that she didn't understand why I wasn't complaining more. Perhaps it's another cultural difference, because I can't understand what complaining would do (and I told her that). Apparently, as I am now starting to understand, the German system (medical, scholastic, business) works on the basis of yelling until one gets the desired result. Therefore, one should not expect the doctor to treat pain or discomfort unless one screams about it, even if one is clearly (as shown through, I don't know, listening to the lungs) in such discomfort.  I find it funny that he felt so sorry for me that without a compaint he upped the opiates. I really need to change my stoic attitude toward life and my belief in fairness if I am going to have the results I want in this country. I can do it, I just need to remind myself that things are not as they seem....
  

Du or Sie?

Today both the German and I had what we felt were interesting experiences with the du versus Sie problem.
His experience was a bit more interesting than mine. For the last year he has associated with a person at the client site and in the last three weeks this person has been referring to the German with du, without invitation or acknowledgment. It's all a morass, of course, as the German is younger, but theoretically hierarchically superior and yet outside the hierarchy as an outside consultant. He's been at a loss as to how he should handle the situation, so in a typically German (of his area of Germany at least) manner he has been speaking to his colleague in circumlocutions that have not required him to use either du or Sie. I admire that as i am completely incapable of doing that for even the length of a sentence and he has been able to do it for weeks.
Today however, in a particularly direct exchange, it became impossible to continue in that manner and he stopped, said to the colleague that perhaps they should speak with "thou" and then did that amusing little thing where he held out his hand and introduced himself by his vorname over a handshake. What a relief.

Meanwhile I was home with the girls after school while a heating inspector was checking out our meters and radiator readings. The gentleman was apparently having some sort of problem after I walked him from room to room, and said something to me in a strong Berlin dialect that I didn't understand. I asked him to go more slowly, said that I didn't nderstand, and asked if it was important or if he needed anything. He looked at me and said that he lived in Germany and therefore spoke only German and therefore so should I. I was so upset! There I was, making my best attempt at German, and there he was, being a complete swine.
Flushing with anger (I'm not exagerating), I then used the du form to ask him if I should call my husband or whether he needed anything else before leaving. He said no, then did actually explain that he was not able to find two registers that he was looking for. I switched back to Sie and we concluded his examination and I showed him out.
The really annoying part is that the German says that my calculated insult (the switch to "thou") was surely understood only as ignorance on my part. Darn it.
And if this is how someone who is "white" and without a strong accent is treated, I have a good understanding of how others are.

We are at the epicenter

of the firestorm of fireworks (or so it feels. Kreuzberg is probably worse, of course). So far it has been 40 minutes and it still continues unabated. An apartment kitty-corner to us just burnt out. It was amazing how fast it went. The firemen were here but they seemed to be moving in slow motion and meanwhile the constant explosion of fireworks continued all around us. The windows rattle occasionally and every now and then there is the sound of something hitting the glass. I can't believe that people are driving in this: all our streets have fireworks exploding in them.

Next year I will learn how to take pictures of fireworks: this year they are all orange and flames and look like a picture of the inferno rather than the gorgeous things that they are.

50 minutes later and the corners of my street seem to be dying down... The firemen are about done putting out the fire although smoke is still escaping. The mini Cooper and the red car parked (illegally) on the curve look a little worse for the wear. Our car is (knock wood) fine so far (by chance we had a spot not in the way).

New life on our corner and the wind is shifting- they are hitting our windows (which you had better believe that we have closed!)

75 minutes later and it seems to be over bar the three firepots still flaming outside the door and the occasional crack. The firemen across the way are rolling up their hoses and starting on their way to the next call (tatoo-ta-ta, as the Germans say).

We had planned on going to Brandenburg Tor to do the tourist thing, but a combination of Thing2 still having a croupy and bronchial sounding cough after her several days of high fever, and my starting to have a similar cough, made us tell the babysitter that we would pay for the sitting (as an apology and because of the late cancellation) but not use it. I am glad to be home. Perhaps next year we can try for a more elegant Silvester Ball (now that we know we can get sitting) which will be indoors: yesterday and today were the coldest days so far here in Berlin.

Why do my power cables keep blowing?

Now, that's an interesting question. After the first two power cables fried, we put an expensive surge protector and made certain that the electronics were on that.

In addition, because we had had the weird power surge that was the reason for the 2nd power cable loss, we had an electrician out to look at the outlets that had the surge who said that there was no problem with the electricity at all. However, after that I noticed (was freaked out and angered by) that whenever the lights were turned on or off in the hallway, the outlets on the shared wall inside the living room would receive a power surge. This surge did not set off the surge protector at all, but I wonder if it contributed to the failure of this second MacBook charger cable? I do know that it must have contributed to the failure of our 4th power cord, the extremely expensive adapter charger that the Dell was running on. Man, this is just amazing, isn't it?

However, on Friday, after this happened, I threw the computer and the charger into my bag and when the babysitter arrived and the German and I left to meet friends in Prenzlauer Burg, we stopped at the Apple store on the way.

It was a typical German customer service experience. When we walked in, we took a number (electronically) , which is a far sight better than one can expect at T-Com. Then, when we were called the German explained what had happened to the clerk. The clerk misunderstood, thinking that he had purchased a new cable a few weeks ago while what had really happened was that they had given us one (warranty replacement) and it did not go through the Kasse. But the clerk sent the German to the Kasse to get paperwork (which was not there) and when he came back without any, it was not in Ordnung.

At that point, I started to become concerned because we were starting to get late for our meeting (we were still 30 minutes from the restaurant). So I asked what the problem was. When I explained the situation it became clear that the process the clerk had started was incorrect so he changed to looking at the bar code on the computer, determining that I was correct in believing that I still had 4 years left on my warranty, and then telling me that it would be 4-6 days until I would be able to get a new cord: Apple would want to look at the cable before issuing me a new one.

I looked at the clerk in disbelief. In measured tones I informed him that in this country and city where I do not speak the language, that my computer is my life line. I suggested that if they did not have a cord to give me (hard to believe, as they sold computers there!) that he loan me one. (We had already had the conversation where I indicated that I was unhappy with the failure of two cables and he had informed that that it was not his fault and that he worked for Gravis, not Apple.) He told me that the company only had four loaner computers and that they would almost certainly be all out.

I asked him to please check the status and I would wait to be angry until I found out if therewas a reason to be. Then I smiled at him.

When he came back, he gave me a new cord.

That was nice.

More tomorrow about what happened at the restaurant...