Integrated

I went to my local Volkshochschule (VHS) yesterday to sign up for a grammar course and another language course next month (I've been taking a little break and very much enjoying it).

Part of the reason that I have been taking my break is that I have been waiting to hear the results of my B1/DTfZ. If I didn't pass, I would repeat the B1.2 and take the test again. I hadn't received my scores yet, so I decided to take a quick one day course in grammar while waiting. (ed. That is, one day a week.)

When I went in to discuss what course to take (all placement in the VHS for German requires a personal discussion, other courses can be registered for on line) the head told me that the scores should be in and they were.

I passed the reading and listening section with 98%, speaking with 91% and I just scraped by in the writing. That was a shock, because I thought that my speaking score would be much lower. With the writing, I had known that I had done badly: the test required a "half official letter" and I had used elements from an "official letter" by accident: huge no-no.

I haven't received the results back yet from the Orienteeringskurse exam, but I'll guess that will be 100%, so I can officially consider myself (and the German government also considers me) to be integrated. I used only 400 of the 600 hours offered to me at a subsidized cost (by the government- German language courses cost 1/2 of what other language courses such as French or Italian or Arabic cost) and none of the possible additional 300 hours. It's unfortunate that I can't use any of these hours to continue my studies, because I think I'll need to progress through at least C1.2 and do additional work in writing to actually be considered moderately literate and capable of getting a job if I look for one here in Germany, but I am also extremely grateful that Germany has provided such an easy and low cost path for me and all other incomers to become more integrated, especially in language skills. It amazes me that people pay 5-6 times the cost of going to the VHS to take lessons at private schools when the teachers at the VHS may be the same teachers they have as well, or far exceed their skills. My teachers have all been wonderful.

I think it's a pity that the US doesn't follow this model: I do believe that one should not be allowed, in ordinary circumstances, to be a permanent resident or a citizen without the requisite language skills. I also believe that once that decision is made, the country with such a belief should provide a path for immigrants to actually gain those skills. Here in Germany, it's not (in my case) much of a subsidy (although it is for the poor or jobless) — it's that the classes are readily available, that childcare is available for those who require it (I did not), that full-time and part-time, morning, afternoon and evening classes are available and that the path to mastery is clearly indicated and achievement is determined through testing, with the availability of additional help as needed.

Germany talks the talk and it walks the walk and I think that is just great.

Life with a weekend spouse, casual injury and tipping in Germany.

It's been 5 weeks since the German started commuting to München. The commute is supposed to run fro early Monday (leaving before 5 am) until lateish on Thursday (sometimes after 22:00) but a few times it has run into Friday.

Last night was one of those and when he got in, very late, we thought twice about joining some other expat bloggers for a mini-meet-up in Hannover (about a 2.5 hour ride from here). When I heard early in the day that he would be late, I had already called and cancelled the hotel room, as 18:00 was the deadline and I knew he wouldn't be back until much later. We decided to sleep on it, set an alarm, and decide whether it made sense to leave at 7 am.

We did in fact get up at 6:30 (Thing1 gave us no choice), but the German begged to be allowed to sleep and I did accede to his request (and you can bet that I will be sleeping in tomorrow, at least as much as possible). We gave our friend Alice in NRW a call to break the news, only to find out that she and her son had strep and that they had cancelled as well. When I called Christina to apologize at 10, when we were to meet, I discovered that two other couples had cancelled and I felt just awful about it.

But the commuter marriage is really dragging me down. It's all the little things. I am tremendously grateful that the girls are in kita, so I can run errands, get some groceries, go to the doctor, go the the car shop, deal with some stuff. But on the other hand, I always need to get up early and I always need to get them in to bed alone (hard with Thing2, who still naps and thinks that since it's still light at 22:00, she can wander out of bed and say she needs the toilet. Sometimes 4 times within the hour).

And the girls miss him, especially Thing2, who sometimes has meltdowns about his morning absences. I have no help tidying up after them, or amusing them, or with any of the things that he is alwys so very helpful with. I am much more tired than I would have thought and sometimes need to remember that I was extremely ill not so long ago. This week's 5th day just kicked my tush.

So instead of meeting fellow American's, Canadian and USian for the 4th, we went to a biergarten in Dahlem to have a Turkey salad, baby potatoes, pommes and an ice (with the girls playing between eating).

Interesting note: here was the second time in 8 days that a waiter in Berlin has cheated us.
The first time was last week. Alice (who was in Berlin with husband and kids for 2 days) had lunch with me at a place around the corner that we frequently go to, often with the kids, so we know it is family friendly and have enjoyed it. The baby had a fuss and we decided to eat at her apartment so the children could go down. They went ahead and I remained to pay the bill, which I did, with a nice tip. I was in a hurry because as folks know, getting something wrapped to go here in Germany is not a fast activity.

As I walked to Alice's place, I started thinking about the amount of the bill and not being happy. I had taken the receipt and when I started reading it (while crossing streets and walking) I became quite angry when I realized that we had been billed incorrectly in three items, resulting in an overcharge of 4€ (more than 12%). I tipped more than 4€ and it was quite clear to me that the waitress had billed herself a good tip, expecting me not to tip. 4€ was not enough to make me go back and yell at the waitress, but it was enough to make me angry and resentful. I will remember that waitress and now I understand the expression on her face at my answer to her question as to where I was from, when I answered: A few blocks away, I eat here regularly.

Today, at the Biergarten in Dahlem, the German paid the bill while I was rounding the kids up and getting their socks and shoes on. When he got back, I asked him what the bill had been and when he told me the answer I said that the bill was incorrect and asked to see it. Another waiter had attempted to give us a Bolognese, so I assumed they had added that to the bill incorrectly.
I asked to see our copy of the bill and when the German told me that the waiter had simply told him the amount, I knew that the overbilling had been deliberate: our order was taken on a handheld device that itself prints out the rechnung. When the German discussed the bill with the waiter, a "mistake" of 3.5€ was "discovered. Since, once again, he had tipped 4€, it was again clear that the waiter had chosen to "tip" himself about 15%. The German was aghast. Since he did all the ordering and this was in a neighborhood local, I can't even blame this on the desire to rip off tourists: it's just a clear trend.
I think that we are going to become more German in our ways. I will know read my bill very closely, no matter how crowded or tired I am, and my new plateau will be the German no-tip, with only extraordinary friendliness and/or helpfulness making me tip above the round-up. I'm just tired of the crap. This never happened to me in the US, although I know it does. And two times in one week!

Moving onward to the injury:

We then went to T1's lieblingsplace: the marienkafer spielplatz otherwise known as Ikea(because the Smaland inside uses the ladybug as their logo). In the parkinglot T2 ran under my feet and I went down hard: so hard, that passersby stopped to ask if they could call for help (perhaps it was my scream, followed by whimpering and ankle clutching?). I didn't really notice as I was busy pressing very hard against the ligaments on both sides of my right ankle- the one without the very painful heel spur- and praying that it wasn't broken. It wasn't, but omigosh it is sprained. After I was through whimpering we limped our way in and signed the girls in for their hour of joy and we went upstairs to split a soda and chat.

Afterward, off to our evening's entertainment of shopping at the suburban (yet still in the huge city that Berlin is) mecca of Kaufland. One hour+ later, with a shopping cart piled above and below, the cost was about that of my little wheelie bin from Lidl in the center of the city. It's a beautiful thing to have a car when shopping and now I am stocked up on boxed tomatoes, pasta and such like. We didn't go to Selgros because I also wanted to stock up on milk and H-milk and they don't have Bio full milk or H-milk.

Then home and so tired that after we put the children to bed I forgot to set the DVR to record the celebrations in NYC. :(. This year was especially exciting because it's the 400th anniversary of Henry Hudson's exploration of the river, so I am disappointed.

But then to bed, with a compress on my foot and a few tablets of ibuprophen.

Things I didn't do this weekend...

• The Karneval des Kulturen ( and it looks like it was fabulous: check out Braving it in Berlin and Snooker in Berlin to see what I missed)


• the make up meeting for the Berlin Booker book club
  

We had planned on it, we kept saying that we would, but instead we wound up

• Having some of the German's friends over, first for a long pleasant walk at the Zoo, and then for our first on-terasse grill session. We had putenwurst and we also brought in some felafel take-out from Habibi. It was a surprise (three day's notice) visit of the German's best man with his girlfriend and another couple. It was very nice.


• Taking the girls out to practice bike riding. Thing1 is pedalling now and Thing2 is resisting moving from the trike to the laufrad.


• Hitting a week market again and loading up on more tomatoes, green beans and spargel (and this time I was able to find green). I also got a bunch of flowers for 50% of the price at the shop by us, which I am still enjoying. We had the tomato and green bean salad again today and I need to find a good spargel recipe for tomorrow.


• I made banana bread again. This time I added raspberries and I am interested to see how it turns out. I never put in the 1/2 cup of nuts the recipe calls for (because I really don't like nuts in food), so I think that I'll start trying different additions every time that I make it. It smells delicious and I'll add a photo later.--- Here it is. It was delicious: the raspberries really lightened up the density of the bread.

And here is the James Beard recipe my mother has passed on to me:

Banana Bread:
2 Cups sifted flour (I don't have a sifter here, so I don't sift);1 tsp baking soda; 1/2 tsp salt; 1/2 cup butter, 1 cup granulated sugar,2 eggs; 1 cup mashed, very ripe bananas (about 2, I have used up to three);1/3 cup milk (I use fat-free because I save the whole organic for the girls);1 tsp lemon juice; 1/2 cup chopped nuts (which I never use and here replaced with raspberries)

Sift flour with soda and salt (I throw them all min together). Cream butter and gradually add sugar. Mix well. Add eggs and bananas and blend thoroughly (I have done this all by hand, in which case I soften the butter by leaving it on the counter and add the milk when I am creaming the butter and sugar). Combine milk and lemon juice, which will curdle a little when placed together (I just pour them in together). Slowly and alternately fold in the flour mixture and the milk mixture beginning and ending with the dry ingredients (I always just pour the liquid into the dry). Blend well after each addition. Stir in the nuts (or not, or raspberries...), then pur the batter into a lavishly (love his use of the word) buttered (I use Pam spray) 9x5x3 pan (here I am using a bread loaf tin) and bake in pre-heated 350F (180C, 170 convection) oven for 1 hour or until bread springs back when lightly touched in the center.

My class Trip to Dresden

We were scheduled to leave at 7:31 from the Berlin Hauptbahnhof. Because of the U-Bahn strike I was concerned that it might take me a while to get there, so I left home quite early and was bummed to discover that the S-Bahn to the Hbf is quite sppedy: I was there 30 minutes early. That gave me time enough to become concerned when I didn't see anyone else and when the destination notation at the platform we were meeting at was not Dresden. So I called the information line but the gentleman at the other end, when I asked him to speak "Langsam, bitte" send me to the main information booth at the other end of the station, rather than simply telling me, more slowly, that the reason the destination was not Dresden was that we would be switching trains part way. Sigh. Some Germans just can't deal with speaking to non-native speakers slowly and clearly. Luckily, when I ran up the stairs I bumped into a classmate and he was able to get the information gentleman to give him that information.


This is the August the Strong bridge: it's very pretty. I also want to point out the sunshine. the entire day was beautifully sunny: it was almost like being in an entirely different country. I took off my jacket and unzipped my sweater and sat in the sun eating soft ice-cream (as did all the Germans I could see).


I think that this is a cherry tree- all over Dresden trees were blooming, flowers were blooming, and people were basking in the sun. One of my classmates said that there was a Mediterannean feel but I think that she was just drunk on sunshine.




A view of the Schloss across the Elbe. That's the boat next to which we sat and ate our cones.






Statue of August the Strong on a horse on the boulevard leading to the Aldtstadt.






The Frauenkirche. And it really is. All baby blue and baby pink with trompe l'oeuil everything. So pretty and non-threatening. Not a tortured body in sight. Interestingly, this is a Protestant church but my teacher (German Protestant by birth, professed atheist) thought it seemed more Catholic, because of the general ornateness and opulence. I said that to me the absence of the crucifixion was proof of the Protestentness of the building and that the opulence was simply due to the building having been built for the wife of an Emporer (although of course this is completely a recreation, as almost all of Dresden was completely destroyed in February 1945).

Some of my class mates went to the museums in the Schloss (which looked lovely) but Y and N and Y and I instead decided to find a table in the sun and grab a bite to eat: it just didn't seem like there was enough time to make it worthwhile to go to the museums.

We kept on looking but couldn't find an open table so we wound up approaching some older Dresdeners and asking if we could share their table, which they very kindly agreed to.

I had been wanting Linsentopf (I love lentils)and two classmates chose the same. When it arrived, it had meat in it and Y asked if it was Schwein, because she doesn't eat trayfe. I hadn't thought so, because I generally read all descriptions in Germany in re food to be sure that pig is not in the product, but one can never be certain here. So she asked the kellnerin, who, in a very unbehilflich way said yes and then left. Y agonized for a bit and other Y and I were concerned and then Y called over the kellnerin and asked to exchange the soup for another because she could not eat Schweinfleisch. I was amazed at how passive aggressive the waitress was, but she finally agreed and we all ate when the new soup came. Of course, by that time I had reacquired the menu and noted that the Linseltopf did not include swine: it was beef.

Well, that broke the ice and the Dresdeners asked where we came from and we had a lovely chat for the next half hour or so, culminating with the gentleman buying us all a round of a local Dresden white wine. It was so nice, he and his wife and their friend displayed such Gastfreundschaft, that it more than made up for the information man and the waitress and made me realize again how nice some people are here and how appreciative so many Germans are to those of us who try to speak German! We wound up being a few minutes late to meet the others, having to run, and then we had to dash for the Dresden Hbf.

So, I was up at 5:45 and I got home again at 21:00. A long day. I will definitely do it again, but next time I think that we will go and stay for the weekend.

The German and the Things also had a great day, they spent most of it at the Zoo.