Ten years later

I struggle with a certain amount of PTSD during September. 9/11/01 was a very pivotal time for me and my life, as well as for that of the US.
On that day, I was working for a Big 4, on an assignment in Chicago. My boyfriend (now husband), at a different Big 4, was on assignment in Texas. I was running out the door to the client when my mom called to tell me that a plane had hit the Twin Towers. I told her it had to be an accident and then I turned the TV on and watched in disbelief. Just as in NY, it was a glorious day with a perfect sky: Indian summer.
In a daze, I drove to the client. I don't think I could think of what else to do. Once there, I joined all the other people watching monitors and dripped tears until I went back to my hotel room.
Like very many other people, I and the German were trapped: planes did not fly again for days and then the stack up effect was horrendous. My co-workers were not from NY and so I took my rented car and drove back alone, through states I barely recognized. Not to our apartment on the Upper West Side, with the access routes to the city circumscribed and talk of shortages, but home to upstate NY. The German drove with some of his co-workers through, dropping them off and then meeting me at my house upstate. It may be forgotten, but it was extremely difficult to move around the US in those days, as rental cars moved out of position and were basically unavailable.

Rosh Hashonah was September 17 in 2001 and Yom Kippur was the 27th and frankly I can't remember what I did during that period- how long I stayed upstate and when we went back: our offices were closed for some time as so many people were displaced and NY was reeking with the smell of burning (as it did for months). Neither of us lost friends in the attack, although we had friends who had close calls. We lost acquaintances and my brother lost good friends— when we moved to Westchester my neighbor had lost her husband.

The German's office was closed for months (very close to the WTC) and I transferred offices. Within a month, I and over 15% of my division had been laid off. As we sat at our outplacement seminar at DBM (with IBM, Marriott and other impacted industry executives), we seemed to detect a common link of being salary outliers;-). My firm in particular seemed to have chosen to lay off those within 4 months of our 5 year vesting period: strangely apposite considering a recent news story about how underfunded our pension plan was. A very bad time to be job hunting in NYC.

But a time which made my friend decide that not losing me to a different job and city was important and we became engaged in January. I found a new job (one that required 0% as opposed to 100% travel) and we started life together as a married unit. A process which two children later and a few years led us here to Berlin.

The world changed on 9/11/01. The US started doing things with which I was unhappy, and which we did in fear and in shock. We were traumatized and I find the ambushes that the media played this month to be wrong: I watched no TV and found myself weeping when the BBC would throw another surprise interview out.

I missed being in the WTC during both attacks simply by chance— I commuted through the PATH station regularly, took classes at Windows on the World... I think of how people who live in war torn areas feel, I think of how Jews in Berlin in the 1930s and in Israel in 1967 and in Mumbai in 2008 felt and I just admire people who sprang back, who don't have waves of memory.... I am glad that the man who ordered those attacks is gone and I am glad that I don't need to think of the event as unclosed going forward.

What I've been doing while I wasn't here...

The last month has just been so busy, lots of travel and exhaustion. Lots of fun and some strangely childish adult interactions— do bullies actually still get away with it over 40?

I'm not certain if I will append actual posts to these, but at least it shows where I have been for the last month plus so I can think about posting again.

Schwerin

What I was doing while I wasn't here—I was:

• Visiting my family in upstate NY
• Meeting friends at Book Expo and spending some time in my favorite city (I were rich I'd be living there), seeing the McQueen Exhibit and the Guggenheim
  
• Spending a long weekend at Limmud and being in a Jewish environment
  
• Biking in Schwerin and seeing Mecklenberg-Verpommern
• Knowing that some friends will be visiting in September and starting to make plans
• Having Thing1 earn her Bronze (and should have been Silver, but couldn't do both at the same event)
• Seeing T1 prepare for her first concert: she will play two pieces on recorder tomorrow
• Winning, with my team, a Scavenger Hunt and getting to explore a part of Mitte I haven't seen before
  
• Going Strawberry picking and trying out a new synagogue that the kids and the German all seem to like
• Having my state legalize gay marriage and watching Queen on Fire, found for 5€ at a flea market on the same day:)
  

Home again, home again...

Back from the States to our Berlin home.

We actually got back Wednesday morning (plane touchdown at 9 am, arrived at apartment at 10:30) but since we left for the airport in Orlando at 9 am the day before we were a bit tired when we arrived.

It was an epic return, of sorts. We had mistaken the time of our departure on Tuesday by an hour (earlier, not later, which was unfortunate). The day before, the German had run off to Downtown Disney to exchange some Cinderella shoes (size marked incorrectly) and to pick up a Dornroschen dress and because the time was not listed on the website (and no one answered the phones at the store when we called) we didn't realize that they were open until 11 pm while Tar-jey was open only until 10 pm, missing our window of opportunity to return some items there.

So we packed all night (discovering that there were two driers in the house because neither actually worked- made me think of you, Diane :-)). Then we set the alarm for 8 am, and when I checked our flight schedule again, discovered the discrepancy. Oops. We ran around like mad while our friends, who left about an hour later and were domestic not international, looked at us. Then we dashed to Tar-jay where I returned items (a wrong size swim suit for Dad, unopened bottled juices and Mott's for Tots, etc) and the German picked up two cheap duffles to carry our overflow.

Then we ran to Lenscrafter's to pick up my glasses. We had gone there on Monday and gotten my prescription done. Strangely enough, the dr. found no astigmatism in my right eye, unlike Fielman's. Perhaps that explains why I kept having a hole in my field of vision in my right eye as Feilman's insisted that I had a severe astigmatism there?

It was such a relief to have a prescription that worked. When I told the dr. about my problems here I said that I felt that I was giving the wrong answers to the dr. here and I was grateful to be tested again with the US tests that I have been used to since my first pair of glasses (about 40 years ago...) and when I described the tests here he was astounded. Said that he hadn't used or seen those tests seen he was an intern, that they were not used in the US as they gave poor results. So now I know. He also dilated my eyes and checked their structure. We chose a new pair of frames and then ate lunch at Panera Bread (man, I love their Greek dressing. I now have a bottle in the refrigerator).

While we waited for my appointment, we took the kids to KoolKuts, where they both had their hair trimmed and both for the first time. The hairdresser was terrible, but the kids had a great time (and I was so afraid that Thing1 would have hysterics- she didn't want a cut) and sat in trucks with seatbelts while watching videos. Since it was just a "trim", the fact that it was uneven wasn't so bad. At least the ends are healthy now and we will find a place in Berlin to even it out in a few months.

After we got my glasses (no time for any adjustment) and filled the gas tank we lit out (as much as one can in a Sienna LE with two small children) for the airport.

I thanked the Lord aloud when we got to curb side and saw that Orlando allowed international curbside check-in (JFK does not).
We got a skycap and unloaded:

• 7 suitcases and 1 duffle to be checked.
  
• 2 car seats to be checked.
• 1 double stroller, check at gate
• two backpacks, adult
• 1 purse
• 3 carry on duffles
• 2 kids' rolly back packs (Disney princess')
  
• 1 kid's back pack, small, Tinkerbell
• assorted foods and drinks to be swallowed or discarded before security
• 1 case of Passover matzah to be hand carried
• 1 Costco size carton of Goldfish (cheddar)

What a great skycap. He took our passports and went off to handle everything while the German ran to return our minivan rental ($424 for 8 days versus lowest offer of $1400 when we called all the companies ourselves: I love you Priceline!). The skycap even came back after giving me all our tickets and claimchecks to see if he could help me through security, but I told him the German wouldn't be able to find us (only 1 American SIM between us). (I had tipped him quite well.) We arrived at the curb at 10:58.
The German came back and we were 35 minutes before our flight (per the car receipt of 11:18 and 7 minutes for him to get back). Also fortuitously, the security line was light (flying on a Monday at noon) and we went in the family line and moved quite expeditiously. Everyone was just so nice. We grabbed a monorail to our gate area (it's a hub and spoke design in Orlando which never leaves you too far from your gate) and we actually arrived at our gate after boarding had started but before our zone had been called.

Can you imagine my relief when we actually got settled into our seats? There was a "deadhead" airline officer sitting behind Thing1 who was helping settle carryons in (the plane had the "extended" overheads, which was nice. Then nothing but calm (and giving the kids toys to play with).

We had a 5 hour layover at JFK and it was all fine. We piled our masses of stuff at the gate and made forays out for food and bathroom visits. The kids played fort under the stroller and bags and Thing1 sat for a while in the window and drew (she is really great) while T2 napped in my arms and then the German's (she is too heavy for me!). The German and I were both a bit ill (stomache and head) but we survived.

It was amazing to me to see the calorie counts listed on the display menus of all the fast food places. This policy (is it NY only?) must be making a dramatic difference in eating habits. I know that it made one in mine as I considered what I wanted to order and I am a relatively sophisticated consumer who has actually requested calorie counts before! I think it's great and that it should be required everywhere.

As we boarded our plane (pre-boarding for folks with small children who need extra time- first plane since I have had kids to do that) I heaved a sigh of relief. Not least because they had changed our planes and instead of sitting 2x2 we were 3x1, which meant that I would be able to catch a few zzz'z myself:).

An interminable trip, with the kids eating only cookies and fishies, but relatively calm and quiet. The girls slept the last 4 hours and didn't wake up until we woke them after landing.

We gathered our things at Tegel. It took two luggage carts (important tip: American quarters work in SmartKarte slots), we dragged out our winter coats (I had put jeans on in the plane) and we trudged like overladen sherpas through the Zoll. I looked at the beamtor looking at our luggage and I could see him blanch. As he pulled over a perfectly inoffensive German with a single small bag, I could almost read his thoughts:" No way do I want to deal with that!".

The special large taxi/van home and within 40 minutes all our luggage was inside (the elevator worked!), a modicum of bags unpacked, our teeth brushed and the kids were in the bath. I love Tegel.

We then went to sleep for 5 hours, picked up Chinese for dinner, and had a late night again (hard getting the kids to sleep). Then a lie in today with several loads of laundry and lots of tidying (it rained- it's how I recognize Berlin:)). Kids had another bath, left-overs, and they are still wandering around like ghosts every few hours, although we put them down at 8 (at 11:45 the two just wandered past on the way upstairs to go to bed in "Mama's bed").

I hope to get some posts about the trip up over the weekend: not because I think it's so interesting to everyone else, but because I love my blog as a form of journaling with search capability and photos.